2ndchance

Facebook: Is it evil?

Much has been written about the evil addiction that is Face Book.  All you have to do is google 'Facebook evil' to find articles about how bad the social networking scene is.  These articles range from incoherent rants to angry diatribes to thought-provoking essays.  Then of course, within the past six months, there has been great controversy over FB owning rights to content even after accounts are canceled.  Luckily, that concept provoked such a big backlash, that FB backed off.

I'm not here to argue the technical aspects of the FB/MS phenomenon.  And although I wouldn't mind being the billionaire inventor of FB, I'm not going to address the business side of it either.  As a student of human behavior, I'm fascinated by how it works from a sociological standpoint.

I'll admit it.  I have a FB account which I really enjoy.  Along with about 175 million other people.  Through my account, I have been able to re-connect with college friends and former students.  FB also lets me keep tabs on current friends and family; some who live in town and others who live all over the world.  Status messages are quicker than e-mail, and easy to check.  The site is blocked at work, which is ok with me because I'm usually too busy to deal with personal stuff on the agency timecard.

So is it evil?  Some have described it as a 'social virus' which replicates in an out-of-control manner.  Others are all into the 'how many people can I friend' thing.  Still others have replaced regular social contact with daily FB contact.  I'm of the opinion that sites like MySpace and Facebook are fine in moderation. . .they allow the users to connect via cyberspace with current friends, acquaintances, long-lost friends and family.  As long as one does not rely on FB and MS as their only social outlet, and spend hours a day on it, it can be a good thing.  For some people though, it can be a problem.

I liken FB to that other potential addiction:  World of Warcraft.  There was a time when I spent good chunks of time each day playing the online game.  I met all kinds of interesting people and had lots of fun fighting monsters alongside my guildies.  Real life concerns kept me in balance with my online play time. . .preventing me from playing all day long.  However, I know people who literally play WoW every waking moment of their lives. . .when they are not working and some people play even at work.  They are very hardcore about their commitment to the game, and even eat meals in front of their computers whilst playing simultaneously.

There is a side of FB which can be like that.  I have noticed that some people pour their whole lives into their status messages:  i.e. 'I just put on my socks', or 'my car won't start'.  Others, like me, play Mafia Wars and other FB games throughout the day and into the night.  Still others add just about every app that passes their way. . .answering 50 questions or listing their favorite movies or posting what kind of animal they would be. 

Without real f to f contact or phone contact, FB can actually be rather shallow. . .lacking the depth necessary for even a longer, more thoughtful email.  On the other hand, the brevity of FB might just be indicative of the multi-tasking which pervades in our current culture.  For example, last night I was sitting in front of the TV with my laptop in my lap.  While watching a dvr'd Supernatural, I was chatting with my sister's niece, playing Mafia Wars, and giving attention to Bonkers the cat (who insists on monitoring my internet use from the arm of the chair), and talking with my housemate (who was texting with his gf on his IPod). 

Whew!  No wonder FB can often be short and shallow.  Between keeping up with multiple tasks, 597 friends, and keeping a steady stream of tweeting (another time for that one), there are not enough hours in the day to go into more depth and still have a life.

And yet. . . .

All those apps can be fun.  (although I pick and choose very few of them.)  Seeing pics of former youth and their families is actually kind of thrilling.  How often do we get to pick up with someone, 20 years later?  Putting out a hit on another mafia boss, who just robbed your casino, is very satisfying after a day spent at work.  Coming up with a few pithy status messages can challenge one's creativity.  Reading others' messages and commenting on them provide a connection.

Ok, so bottom line for me is that I like FB and think it is fun.  From the ubiquitous status messages to the chat to the apps to the games, it is a great social outlet.  Reaching out to the larger electronic village is a given in the 21st century.  Is it evil?  Of course it is.  Just remember to turn the computer off on a regular basis, and go out to a movie with your friends.  You'll be glad you did.

Tag

Here is a thought-provoking essay from my friend Liz on the socio-political place Christianity has in America and around the world today. . .including some needed reminders of the history of religious persecution, and a surprising story of one parish's fight to live out their beliefs.  Take the time to read the whole essay.

From a fortune cookie

One dreamed of becoming somebody. . .

Another remained awake and became.

It's starting

I joined the "Yes we did" group on Facebook, and already a family member. . .and of course a McCain supporter. . .is calling me a socialist.

Incidentally, I'm expecting Russ Limbaugh to have a loyal following again for at least the next four years.  I'm so looking forward to having his views re-surface all over the media. /sarcasm

If John McCain can say 'lets work together and support the new president" on Jay Leno , why can't his supporters do the same?

When Driving Imitates Life part two

Then there are those drivers who pull in next to you in the lane that is going to end in 100 feet.  They can see the signs, they know it's coming. . .they just know that someone will let them in.  'Ha!' they say, 'I made it two cars ahead of where I would have been!'  They are not even polite about it.  They push their way in front of you and you have to slam on the brakes to avoid hitting them.

People who drive like this are the people who have no patience.  They want their cake and want to eat it and want it now dammit!  They often prey on the goodwill of others.  When I worked in the service industry, I had dozens of customers like this.  They knew you had to be nice to them, so they stomped all over you in their quest for satisfying their now dammit mentality.  They don't have a clue about respect, and they are bad drivers in real life.

And of course, I admit that I'm one of those people who don't want to let them in. It ticks me off that they won't act responsibly and queue up like others.  Line cutters. . .grrrrrr.   I guess that makes me a 'type A' personality. Heh.  My better sense always kicks in, though, although a little place inside of me wants to see them end up in the ditch. 

When Driving Imitates Life

During my daily commute to work, I drive through four school zones.  My morning drive time pretty much coincides with arrival time at the elementary schools. . .which means the '25mph' yellow lights are flashing.

This morning, I slowed down when entering a school zone, and immediately someone pulled in behind me leaning on their horn.  As if I was going to speed up for them.  Now I may speed at other times, but never in a school zone.  The car continued to hug my rear bumper and its horn continued to blare.  Until traffic cleared in the other lane, and the car zoomed around me and took off.

Right about that time, some blue lights turned on.  Is it wrong that I let out a 'hell yeah!' in my car?  Is it wrong that I gloated over the cop catching my nemesis?  I think not.

People who speed in school zones are like people who care very little for the special needs of others.  They just cruise along in their selfishness, assuming that nobody is more important than they are.  They ignore guidelines set up to protect kids and others and they usually get away with it.  There are tons of them out there.  And thus, they are very bad drivers in real life.

Next time you drive through a school zone, slow down, 'k?

Five Years and Counting

Tomorow is the aniversary of both my first and second chances.  A first chance at life and a second to start over again.

Although this particular time of year provokes a lot of thought in me, words fail me in describing how I feel.  I don't really want to memorialize the pain which is still there.  However, I recognize that five years is a small achievment.

So I say 'thank you' to all the people who gave me a second chance.  And for all those whose support followed over weeks and months and years.  Every little bit helped to place my feet back on a path toward life.

Maladjustment II

IN 1967, the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. addressed the American Psychological Association.  Among his remarks are included the following:

I am sure that we will recognize that there are some things in our society, some things in our world, to which we should never be adjusted.  There are some things concerning which we must always be maladjusted if we are to be people of good will.  Men and women should be as maladjusted as. . . .Thomas Jefferson, who in the midst of an age amazingly adjusted to slavery, could scratch across the pages of history, words lifted to cosmic proportions, 'We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal.  That they are endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights.  And that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.' And through such creative maladjustment, we may be able to emerge from the bleak and desolate midnight of man's inhumanity to man, into the bright and glittering daybreak of freedom and justice.

Go with the flow, people say.  Get used to it, don't rock the boat, accept things the way they are.

I think not.  We need 'creative maladjustment' to be a norm in our interactions with the world.  How can change for the better be precipitated if we don't rock the boat a little.  Let's go out and rock our world today.

Maladjustment I

J. Krishnamurti once said:

It is no measure of good health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.

We can not be content with the way things are in our world.  We can not simply adjust to the status quo and live out our lives as if everything was fine and dandy.  So if we are a bit off-kilter and maladjusted to life, is that such a bad thing?

An Old Letter

What follows is a letter I wrote to a kid in 1993.  I was working both for a church and for a local supermarket chain at that time.  So I had 60hr weeks and no free time, but lots of happy time with families and kids and co-workers.

I had totally forgotten this particular letter and the circumstances surrounding it.  For anyone that knows my recent history, the irony of what the letter says is apparent.  But I want to let it stand on its own without too much preamble:

Dear JR: