2ndchance

Seven Years

I woke up this morning. . .glad to be awake and alive.  Tomorrow will be the anniversary of both my first and second chances.

My life at the moment, is not perfect.  But when does that ever happen anyway?  It is certainly better than it was seven and even five years ago.  I am fortunate to have family and friends who care about me; to have a job where I can make a difference; to have a safe/warm/cool/whatever place to sleep and live; and to have enough financial resources to pay my bills and get along.  FB this morning is full of birthday greetings.

Enough reflection on the past.  Now for the future.  I would like to return to school and finish a Master's Degree.  I would like to take guitar lessons.  I would like to return to work full-time again.  I would like to be able to travel some again.  These are all within my reach.  Just have to take the small and big steps to get there.

Many thanks to the friends and family who continue to support me.  And many thanks to God who has never given up on me.  Today is a good day.  :)

A Perfect Day

My family spent many happy days, when I was young, going camping with our tent and later our tent trailer.  We traveled up and down the east coast of North America. . . .from Canada to New England, to Pennsylvania, to Virginia, to South Carolina.  When we moved to Virginia during my high school years we started going regularly to Shenandoah National Park.  Dad would get home after work on Friday, and we would take off with the trailer for the two-hour ride to the Park and a campsite for the weekend.  Or we would spend a week during the summer at the Park. . .sometimes with good friends who also had a tent trailer.  There were hikes up to mountain peaks, and down to hollows with cool, refreshing falls.  There were mornings spent picking blueberries, and nights spent at the large outdoor amphitheaters listening and learning from Park Rangers.  When I was home from college on breaks, you could often find me backpacking the AT or other trails in the Park. . .alone or with friends.  When I got older, I would take groups of youth to the Park. . .sharing with them the love I had for the place.

For various reasons, it has been almost 10 years since I have been to Shenandoah.  Yesterday morning, Mom and I loaded up her car, and I drove us to the Park for the day.  The drive itself is beautiful. . .Route 33 winding through towns in the foothills. . .passing by vineyards and horse farms. . .always with the mountains in the distance, beckoning.  The car climbed up Swift Run Gap to the entrance station to the Skyline Drive.  We stopped at overlooks and marveled at the clear day. . .blue skies with occasional clouds racing over the mountain range.  The temp dropped about 10 degrees. . .from the 89F of the Piedmont, to the 78F of the Park.  We made it to Big Meadows and to the Byrd Visitor Center.  We saw deer, learned about local bobcats, had a picnic lunch, and drove around the campground area. . .remembering.  Spring was just starting to poke its head out, with most trees still bare.  We returned to our city, before dark, and had a filling supper at a local eatery.

We both agreed that the day had served to clear our heads, and get us away from the problems and challenges of our lives.  We forgot those challenges, just for today, as the beauty of the natural world surrounded us. 

We also gained a new memory.  I'm aware that, as my mother grows older, such trips may not always be possible.  I want to look back and remember that we took the opportunities that were available, and used them to the fullest.  It was a perfect day. . .and that is how I will remember it.

Remember

It is a rainy, cold day here in mid-October.  A perfect day to stay indoors, listen to old music, and write in the blog.  (which is obviously something I haven't done recently).

I finally got my tape deck working, and I've been listening to some old recordings from the late 80's and early 90's.  One is a sing-along among members of one of my graduate school classes.  There was this class we had to take the first semester called 'Formations', and we got pretty tight as a group.  It's fun listening to us laugh, tell jokes, and sing along with several guitars.  It reminds me of a 'good' time in my life. . .difficult, but fun.  I was working three part-time jobs and going to school full-time.  So were pretty much all my classmates.  How we ever did it is beyond me.  Yet to listen to the tape is to remember the good times.

Another recording was made at Christmas in 1992.  My then girlfriend had flown to my hometown. . .meeting my family for the first time.  I remember picking her up at the airport and driving around for about an hour (at her request), because she was so nervous.  Anyway, all of the women living in Mom's house joined our family for another one of those sing-alongs.  We had guitars, keyboard, and a hammer dulcimer.  We actually sounded pretty good.

I could go on.  There are loads of old cassettes gathering dust in my collection. . .each one with a story to tell. . .representative of old memories in my head that have also been gathering dust.  It's nice to shake loose the dust from time to time.

Still raining. . .sleepy cat in my lap. . .irish music playing on the tape deck. 

Prelude to Goodbye

The last two weeks have been amazing.  First there was the time spent at the cabin.  Then there was the buildup to Christmas and finally it was upon us.  Although the weather in the mountains was misty and foggy, we really had a great time.  Lots of indoor games, DVD's, puzzles, good food and a warm fire.

There was a stream running behind the cabin, and we spent some time playing there. Lots of leaves to unclog and rocks to explore.  Then there was the trip to the top of Wintergreen Mountain to see snow (albeit human-made).  I have not been as content for ages, as I was watching "A Christmas Story" with my niece beside me, and the rest of the family sprawled across couches and chairs.  I knew that it wouldn't last forever, so I savored every moment.

Upon our return from the cabin, we got together several evenings in a row to Christmas shop, to eat, and to watch the kids while their Mom and Dad went out on the town.  Finally it was Christmas eve. . . .the evening candlelight service. . .the wonder in the kids' eyes as they looked around at the hundreds of candles. . .followed by supper at Nana's and the opening of stockings and presents and cards.

The next morning, my sister and her family departed for North Carolina to visit with my brother-in-law's family for the next three weeks.  All too soon after that, it will be time for them to return to their home in SE Asia.

I guess only people who have to live for years at at time w/out seeing their family can understand how it feels.  It will be four more years before I can see my family in person again.  We will all be four years older, and the kids especially will have grown up. There is a tangible sense of urgency to spend as much time together as possible in the meantime.

I will miss them very much.

Mountains

In two days, my family heads for a cabin in the mountains.  In spite of the fact that rain is expected for the entire week, I am looking forward to the trip.  This will be the last concentrated time I will be able to spend with my sister's family before they head back to Asia in January.  Then I won't see them for around four years.

Being apart for so long is hard.  I wish I could be consistently around to see the kids grow up and to simply hang out with my sister and bro-in-law.  But I'm really very proud of what they do in SE Asia, and I understand the sacrifices they must make to do their work.

We are busy working on the menus and busy gathering games and books to occupy our time.  There will a wood-burning fireplace to take off the chill.  I am still hoping that the weather channel is wrong and that we will have snow.  I can dream, can't I?

Catch Up

The root canal went well.  What residual pain there was has faded, and I'm now able to chew on both sides of my mouth.  One more trip to the dentist next week to permanently seal up the crown and it's over with.

Driving down to North Carolina for Thanksgiving with my brother-in-law's family.  I think we are expecting 23 or 24 people. . .some of whom I have not seen for years.  My brother-in-law's mom is a great cook, and there will be turkey and ham and home-made Southern pies like pecan and lemon.  Mmmmm.  By special request from my sister, we are bringing down a mince pie and a pumpkin pie, as those are not typically southern.  Since my sister is only home to the States once every four years or so, she has a craving for these family tradional pies that we have had for years.  Ever had mince pie?  It's an aquired taste. . .much like viet fish sauce. . . or coffee if you are not used to it. 

Two days more of work, then off for the holiday for five days. Can't wait.

It's starting

I joined the "Yes we did" group on Facebook, and already a family member. . .and of course a McCain supporter. . .is calling me a socialist.

Incidentally, I'm expecting Russ Limbaugh to have a loyal following again for at least the next four years.  I'm so looking forward to having his views re-surface all over the media. /sarcasm

If John McCain can say 'lets work together and support the new president" on Jay Leno , why can't his supporters do the same?

A night with the stars

I found one of my journals from when I was in the hospital in 2004.  Here is an entry:

During Relaxation group today, we did a guided meditation.  I immediately thought of a good memory as a focus for relaxation.  Before Cathleen and Paul first left for Asia and I think while they were still living in Texas, we rented a cabin at Creekwood during the winter holiday season.  Cathleen and I went skiing while Paul and Mom relaxed at the cabin.

Happy Birthday Cathleen!

I have the best sister.  She has a remarkable level of commitment to her work where she lives in Asia.  She and her husband are doing a super job of raising two kids in a foreign land.  She has weathered serious illness in the past few years (dengue fever mainly), but still keeps on going.

And she has had enormous amounts of patience with my peculiar illness and nature.  There are two people in the world that I know love me unconditionally. . .my mother and my sister.  And they know I love them in the same manner.

So here is a brief 'Happy Birthday' to Cathleen.  I'm glad you are my sister.  I can't wait 'till you all return to the States for furlough, where we can play in the snow.  That's right. . .there will be snow.  Even if we have to travel to Maine to see Aunt Laura.

Yay for sisters!  Have a great day!  :)

Holiday Hello

For me, the holiday season is more about the people and less about the presents.  Don't get me wrong. . .thoughtful presents are always nice.  It may just be that I'm getting older.  It may be that my family and I don't have the financial resources we used to have.  It may just be that I'm tired of all the holiday hype.

Sounds simple doesn't it?  It's all about the people.