2ndchance

Stress

Busy writing a paper about stress.  Where stress comes from, what it can cause in our lives and what we can do about it.  Easy, eh?

Stressful. My brain has just recovered from a test today and is starting to study for a test on Tuesday.  I just can't seem to get my head wrapped around a paper on stress.  There are five pages to write, and there are four days to do them.  Guess I'll break the paper down into smaller pieces. . .which is a Way To Handle Stress.  Heh.

Got a call from a friend of mine yesterday.  He has been in school while working a full-time job.  I can remember being in grad school, working three part-time-jobs, and still having a life.  That was 20 years ago, and I have no idea how I did it.  At least now, I have blocks of free time for studying.

Very cold here. . . down in the teens at night and not getting above freezing during the day.  Still snow on the ground. . .I'll try to take a pic and post it here.

Ok, enough procrastination.  Back to the stressful paper on stress.

Sitting in class

I'm sitting in my Monday class, cruising the internet.

Yes, it is during a break.  Three hours is a long time to sit still.  We all live for the twenty minute break about half-way through.  All except for this class.  The teacher is very dynamic and with 30 years of experience, he has many stories to share as illustrations for the class material.  I never seem to get tired of listening to him.

He also is up on the latest research.  In just a short three-week time there has been lots of learning.

Profiles

One of the students in our group left the program today.  It seems that he didn't feel the program and its intended outcomes were compatible with his own goals.  I will miss him as he added spice to discussions.

I heard the story of another group member today.  There was a time when she heard voices and saw things which weren't really there.  When she was in the hospital, the staff basically gave up on her ever getting out.  Now she is here with us, and I have enormous respect for what she has accomplished.

Another member grew up in a South American country.  When she was a child, she was very poor, and she told me this taught her the meaning of hard work.  She continues to be poor today. . .standing in line to get thrift food items.  But she has raised two daughters (now grown), has worked in education for many years, and continues to persevere.

There are so many more stories.  We never know, when we look in someone's face, what has really transpired in their life.  It is a privilege to be among overcomers and hero's, up here in the mountains.

Diversity

I want to write some about our group of students.  But I really have to be careful to respect confidentiality. . .even when talking in vague terms.  What I can say is that we have a very diverse group.

One guy intrigues me.  He doesn't believe in mental illness.  This is in spite of the fact he has been hospitalized several times.  He is basically in denial, but still has some interesting ideas.  He feels that the doctors/hospitals do too much stuff 'to' us as people, and do not really respect us as persons.  He has been in the system enough to know what he is talking about, and although I know he is in denial, I listen carefully to him.

I let slip that I have a seminary education.  Now there is a woman who has attached herself to me.  I think she needs a pastor and I have not lived that role for some time.  I hope she will let me share my faith journey with her and that she will understand why I am where I am.

I respect these people.  They have overcome great difficulty to be here in this program.  They will be my teachers as much as the professors.

Learning

Much of the content of class today was basic, fundamental mental health.  It was good to re-connect with thoughts and ideas I had almost forgotten about.

One item which was up for discussion was the whole process one goes through after receiving a diagnosis.  It is a similar process to grieving and other challenges, and can be summed up in three words:  admit, grieve, reorient.

I admitted/accepted a long time ago that I had bipolar.  It seems that I have been stuck in the grieving process for much of the time that followed that acceptance.  Grief over what I could no longer do.  Grief over what this illness has done to my family & friends and to me.  Grief over watching my peers being successful with their lives while I felt shackled.

Grief time is over.  I'm ready to reorient myself and move on to the next big adventure.  I'm thinking that this school/training opportunity is going to play a major role in helping me reorient.  While I may have an illness, I am more than that illness.  I will continue to be mindful of it, take care of myself and do things like take my medication. But it will not define who I am or what I can do. 

New

I'm sitting in the bedroom of my new apartment, having driven up here earlier today.  It is crisp, cold, and drizzly.  Charlottesville is a hard place to get around when you're new to the area, so the program staff are helping out.  Five of us just went on an excursion to Food Lion which isn't too far away thank goodness.  My house-mate got delayed due to his father having surgery, so I won't meet him until Monday.

I'm stealing Internet bandwidth.

Get 'D' cells and shades

It's almost time to leave.  Packing is just about done. . .there are a few appointments tomorrow. . .and a few more supplies to buy.  Then I will be driving up to my new home (for the next four months) in the mountains.  The cats know that something is up.  They have been paying inordinate amounts of attention to me.

Thank goodness for my mother and my roommate who will take care of some details here while I am gone.  And thank God that my sister is getting better.