2ndchance

Change

 

Finally, sunshine today!  Just took a few pics of a beautiful sunset.  Will have to post them when I return home.

One of the things we are working on up here at CELT is how to work together with a diverse group to reach a mutual goal.  Today there was a little conflict within my small group, and I felt myself shut down.  (Which is what I often do when confronted by conflict of any kind.)  When the CELT facilitator asked us to process our group experience, I went ahead and owned my issue. . .admitting to myself and to the larger group that this was something I need to work on.  When we returned to the small group, I fully participated and things went much smoother. 

Sometimes, a person just needs to step back, observe their behavior, and make a change.  And change is what CELT is all about. . .personal change, systemic change, and community change.  I have to be willing to change myself, before I can hope to precipitate change in the larger world.

Also had some interesting conversations with several different people.  I really love to hear people's stories; and as much as I like to talk, I also like to listen. 

Finally, I heard from an old friend via FB.  We haven't talked for some time, and reading her words made me smile.  :D  I look forward to catching up with her.

That's all from beautiful Smith Mountain Lake.

Connection

Wow.

Just finished participating in a spirituality group here at Smith Mountain Lake.  An amazingly diverse group of people. . .each with different faith stories which have impacted their mental health recovery.  I found myself, for the first time in a long time, sharing some of my own journey with a group of strangers new friends.  It has been a while since I have been in a place where I felt comfortable sharing my spirituality in the context of my mental health recovery.

And this is the place to do it.  All of us here are in recovery here.

I even touched upon my suicide attempt. . .in the context of a discussion we were having on the topic. (First time for that too, in a long time.)  One of the other group members had said that she could not understand how someone could get to that bad of a place.  She thought it was a totally selfish act.

Well, it is a selfish act.  But I wanted her to understand how and why I got there. . .in spite of my faith in God and in others.  How I had lost faith in myself, and did not want to enter either hell or heaven, but just to stop.  How it created a huge hole that sucked me down, and how an amazing series of coincidences saved my life.  So I shared this.  And it opened the door for several other people to affirm what I had just said. . .those who have reached that same bad place and survived.  It is very empowering to talk to other 'survivors' and to listen to their stories.

It is almost time for bed and another long day tomorrow awaits.  I think I will sleep well tonight. . .surrounded by beautiful nature and beautiful people.

P.S. I also had a very empowering talk with two group members who attend a church in my home town.  Sounds like something I might want to check out.

Today=FTW

Need a Recharge

Here I am, sitting in the computer lab at the 4-H Conference Center on beautiful Smith Mountain Lake.  I'm here for the CELT Academy, which runs from today (Monday) through Friday.  CELT stands for Consumer Empowerment Leadership Training.  It is a training for and run by people living with mental health challenges.  We have about 22 people, plus 4 facilitators.  I came up here, primarily, to learn how to advocate for others when it comes to mental health.  I'm also interested in learning how to use grass-roots efforts to start up a drop-in center in my community.

So far so good.  I have been to many trainings and retreats in my professional life, and this one is starting on a good note.  The facilitators seem to be less interested in lecture type learning, and more into experiential learning.  The group is diverse. . .ranging from young to mature. . .from new with their mental health challenges to more experienced. . .and represent areas from all over the state.

What a beautiful place!  I arrived up here today around 2:30, and took a walk around.  Spring has yet to poke its head up here in the mountains, but I am looking forward to some spectacular sunsets.  I will journal here as I'm able. . .apparently, they keep us busy!