Back to life

So this has been a hella week.  I get to work on Monday morning to learn that one of my clients died on Friday.  He had ravaged his body with cocaine and alcohol abuse. . .not to mention smoking tobacco non-stop. . .for years.  But the past few years he had been clean and sober and most importantly, happy.  I will miss him.

Then on Tuesday, my stupid illness kicked in and left me flailing about with some sort of chemical imbalance in my head.  I couldn't stop my mind from racing a thousand miles a minute, got no sleep and ultimately started having panic attacks.  I haven't had those for three years.  Ugg.  Stuck to my guns with meditation, listening to music and all the coping tools at my disposal.  Didn't leave the house once the whole day and missed work.

On Wednesday I said 'screw this' and drove into work.  I was still bouncing off the walls, but my team at work is used to this in our clients and were supportive of me.  It was just the first time I had ever let them see me like this, and it was a great leap of trust for me.

I just wanted to accomplish one productive thing then go home.  So I canceled out on client visits, but managed to crank out the consumer-driver schedule.  It took me two hours, but I did it.  Then I put my WRAP plan into action and called everybody from my case worker and doctor to my mother and friends.  Got appointments set up with the nurse practitioner (as the doctor was out of town) and my counselor for today.

Today.  I feel back to normal, whatever that is.  Thank God.  Now I'm having to deal with my insurance company which is claiming my PCP is not part of their network.  Even though he is listed on their website and is in that booklet they sent to me.  They want to say that I'm responsible for a $348 bill and I'm saying 'check your own website.'

I've decided that tomorrow is going to be a stress-free day.  Short of a piano falling on me or my car exploding, I think I'll manage to simply chill and enjoy the spring weather here. 

Comments

[Tim]

Good grief!
How've the last six days been?
Did you get your day of calm?

I'll pray for you.

[ahud]

Things are much better atm, thanks. Yeah, last Friday was a 'day of calm' which was a welcome relief to the rest of the week.