2ndchance

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Download Maurice Bernard first edit

Here is another Mental Health PSA.  Went into the studio last week to record three more.  Just found out that our little venture won second place in a national award.  Way to go for all the readers and producers!

 

 

Connection Trauma

I made a connection with a young client yesterday.  He came to our agency because he was in crisis. . .making threats to hurt both himself and others. He was handcuffed as I entered the room, and he was very guarded in his talking at first.  As we found common ground, and talked as I have talked with hundreds of youth, he began to share about his life.  Won't get into details, but suffice it to say. . .he was carrying a lot of depression and anger.  As it became apparent that he needed to go to hospital for his safety, members of my team began the preparations in finding an adolescent bed, consulting with his family. etc.  However, he did not want to go, and had to be "TDO'd".  A TDO is necessary sometimes for the safety of the individual and community, and is always followed by a legal hearing within 72 hours to determine if the TDO is to continue.  It can be traumatic for everyone involved.  In this case, the client's mother agreed that her son needed to go to the hospital.  She had been afraid for him for some time.

I have never been TDO'd. . .always going willingly to hospital when it was necessary.  But if I was in danger of hurting myself or others and couldn't think straight, I would want to have someone step in and protect me from myself.  This is very conteraversal in the recovery community, and I fall someplace in the middle of the continum of opinions.

When it was time for him to be transported to the hospital, he had to be further restrained by shackles.(according to code and procedure in my state and locality)  I have seen kids in shackles lots of times during my tenure as a juvenilie probation officer.  And I know of cases where unrestrained people have escaped from cars and have gone running across the interstate. . .further endangering themselves and others. It really is a safety issue.

I understand all of that.  But this felt different for some reason.  My counselor said that my therapeutic boundaries were probably blurred.  He is probably right.  After saying goodbye to the kid, and encouraging him to give the hospital staff a chance (a very good hospital, by the way), I still went to the men's room, closed myself in a stall, and cried for a few minutes.

Public Service Announcements

Several friends and I have been recording and producing some PSA's for a local radio station.  We are hoping these Mental Health Awareness PSA's get picked up by other stations.  I had the privilege of recording the first ones (below).  Now I think we have about 27 different stories and readers.  Let me know what you think!

 

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Talking about the journey

Sometimes I wonder why I continue to keep this blog online.  I have written in it so sporadically over the past year or so.  Yet within the blog is a record of things that I don't want to forget.  Stories about people I have encountered, ideas that occur to me, and most of all my personal journey with mental health.

Over the past two weeks, I have had three opportunities to share my story in a public forum.  First, for our bi-monthly CIT training.  CIT is Crisis Intervention Training for First Responders in our community:  police, firefighters, rescue, and sheriff.  It is a training that teaches first responders how to work with persons living with mental health challenges.  The CIT leadership found a permanent 'slot' for me amongst the other presenters, and they wanted me to speak about what I do with ESP and also to tell my story.  So I did.

Two days after I shared my story with CIT, the lead police trainer sent me an e-mail requesting that I do something similar with the metro Hostage Negotiations Team.  So a week later, I found myself again sharing intensely personal information with a group of strangers.  These were all tough cops, detectives and officers, who are used to dealing with intensely difficult situations.

Finally, one of the agency supervisors asked if several of the peers would help with a presentation on recovery at our agency board meeting.  The Board was joined by our county administrator (the county's equivalent of mayor if we had a mayoral system) and one of his deputies.  Again I delved into some personal and painful memories.

All three presentations went well, and there was good feedback.  I even learned that the Negotiations team was called out the day after the presentation to work with a  mental health situation, and that our presentation informed and aided the team with their situation.

I don't mind doing this if it can help others to understand that many of us have crisis points, and then can re-engage with our lives.  That we are not always in crisis (which is where most first responders meet us) and that we are more than our diagnosis.  As I did the three presentations, I re-discovered that it takes a lot of emotional energy.  I went home feeling exhausted after all three.

I have made mistakes in my life.  One in particular has continually affected my life since I made it almost ten years ago.  My current job requires me to be open about this mistake and others with complete strangers.  It feels kind of weird at times.  However the benefits far outweigh the stress.  If just one other person can change their viewpoint on those living with mental health challenges; or if someone can have an 'aha' moment with their own journey, it is worth it.

I finish each of my presentations with the following:  What I once considered my greatest weakness has now become a source to my greatest strength.

Guess I will keep the blog for the time being.

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A world where I want to live

Here is a link to a story on a friend's blog.  I wish that you would read it.  This is the world in which I want to live.

Amazing People

Yes life has been a bit stressful lately.  Yes it has seemed overwhelming at times.  However, I am grateful that I have the love and support of my family and friends.  I am grateful that I have a roof over my head, enough food to eat, and enough financial resources to pay my bills.  And I am inspired by amazing people who are passing through my life at the moment.

A friend of mine has been working on a projectwhich finds/provides housing for homeless people.  She has been out speaking to the homeless in our metro area. . .sometimes in the middle of the night. . .finding out what their needs and dreams are.  She is also an advocate for those living with mental health challenges, and recently won an award at a NAMI conference which we attended.  I am proud to call her a friend.

Another friend is utilizing his training to facilitate WRAP groups in our area.  The group empowers those with mental health challenges to reach out for hope, take responsibility for their own lives, educate themselves, advocate for themselves and others, and build healthy support networks.  The WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan) includes a crisis plan which  mental health peers can use when they need immediate help.  All of this provides useful wellness tools and concrete ways to stay in recovery.  I am proud to call him a friend.

These are just two people who are making a difference.  They also have their personal challenges.  So when I feel like my challenges are getting the best of me, I remember them and their continued commitment to precipitate positive change in the lives around them.  And I re-commit myself to do the same.

Sunrise at Virginia Beach 2011

 

Waiting

It has been a long day.  I'm waiting in the lobby for some of my friends before we go eat some pizza.  Watching the surf roll in with the para-sailors and boogie-boarders.  Bike riders and even some tandem bikers on the boardwalk.  This has been a really great conference.  Check out of the hotel tomorrow morning and then back home.  I feel more relaxed today than I have for some time.  In other news, I've pulled my back or something.  Walking around like I'm an old man.  But a happy old man.  :)

**Update***  The New York style pizza was good, but expensive.  The others have gone off on a walk down the street looking for Ben and Jerry's.  I decided that my back couldn't handle any further walking tonight.  So I'm headed up to my room to sit on the balcony and feel the warm ocean breezes and listen to the surf for a bit.